In “Living fluidly”, Mathilde Ramadier shows how bisexuality breaks the codes of sexuality

In "Living fluidly", Mathilde Ramadier shows how bisexuality breaks the codes of sexuality
French author Mathilde Ramadier poses during a photo session in Paris on June 2, 2022. (Photo by JOEL SAGET / AFP)
JOEL SAGET / AFP French author Mathilde Ramadier poses during a photo session in Paris on June 2, 2022. (Photo by JOEL SAGET / AFP)

JOEL SAGET / AFP

According to the author Mathilde Ramadier, bisexuality makes it possible to get out of the heteronormative shackles of society?

SEXUALITY – “Freud called the sexuality female from the black continent. I would say it’s an archipelago”suggests Mathilde Ramadier, author of the book Living fluidlypublished by Éditions du Faubourg this Thursday, September 8, 2022, in which she explores the bisexuality feminine. Why an archipelago? “There are lots of islands. You can swim between the islands or stay on the same one without exploring the others”, illustrates the author with the HuffPost. She intends, through this work, to rethink the great precepts on the heteronormative sexuality and move the lines a little more.

His book, which navigates between the human sciences, is an invitation, not a injunction. An invitation, for women, “to listen to their individual desire, to take advantage of the richness of the world and to appropriate it lightly and openly. » SAccording to her, bisexuality would allow them to emancipate themselves from the cisgender male gaze, from the shackles they have integrated and to discover a wider diversity of relationships, both human and sexual.

A reimagined sexuality

In her book, Mathilde Ramadier interviewed 42 people, mostly women, but also non-binary people, who say they are bisexual or pansexual – people attracted to an individual regardless of their sex and gender. All are unanimous: “The first relationship with a woman can be an earthquake. It calls into question a lot of things. » This new sexuality makes it possible to get out of the straight sexual script “widely conveyed by pornography” who considers that a sexual relationship ends with penetration – and a male orgasm, incidentally.

“We realize that it is not an obligatory passage. We stop thinking about a report in the following order: a little foreplay then the highway of penetration », she develops. Far from conveying the cliché that bisexual women are frustrated with men, the author reports, following the testimonies, “a moment of rocking, which, perhaps, made them understand afterwards that they were not entirely satisfied. »

Studies have already shown the differences in women’s pleasure between heterosexual and homosexual sexualities. According to the book The Sexual Charge, written by Clémentine Gallot and Caroline Michel, 95% of men confirm that they usually enjoy sex in a straight relationship. Women are only 65%. In lesbian relationships, that number jumps to 86%.

Bisexuality as a political project

Moreover, there is a flattening of the power relationship: “There is no longer the question of who has the phallus, both can have it. » From this intimate advantage derives a political dimension. Women will emancipate themselves from the norms and gaze of men, beyond the bedroom: “They will question themselves on what makes their femininity and their power of attraction. » Because we are questioning norms, the author describes a “destabilizing which leads to a necessarily life-saving reorganization. »

Mathilde Ramadier also dissected literature and the arts. “When you take the trouble to look in history, you find many writers and artists who were bisexual”, reports the author. She finds in them a form of emancipation: “I’m not saying that they are more intense because they are bi, but I find it interesting how they sublimate this existence spent outside the norm in a very fruitful work. »

Repressed principles that emerge

Mathilde Ramadier supports the Freudian thesis which says “that we are all bi psychically. » She develops: “In our psyche, we have masculine and feminine principles that coexist. We will repress some of them, according to our experience or according to the periods. » But they can come out, “It is for this reason that a straight person can feel trouble for a person of the same gender. »

She supports this theory with several scientific studies that prove that “women are less sensitive to gender stereotypes. » One of them was conducted by Elizabeth M. Morgan of Boise State University, USA, who surveyed 575 heterosexual women (aged 18-23) in 2009. The study found that 60% felt attracted to another one. But only 4% of participants identify as lesbian or bisexual.

What about men in all of that ? “The same reasoning applies to them as well. » The author argues: “There are desires that are repressed in everyone. Our choices, conscious or unconscious, put us on a path. Many men do not take into account this latent part of their desire. »

To find the book Living fluidly by Mathilde Ramadier, click here.

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